=(

     Well,finally I got it.Parts of my confuse towards that has been solved. PART OF?I think so.I seriously don't know what had happen to me.I shouldn't have such negative feeling and yet,I have it.What the hell I have such negative feeling?I can't understand although I have think of that again and again.I told myself to give up to think about such question yet I am not able to do that.I know myself more than everyone else.I am kind of people who like to think too much.I saw a lot of people post "THINK TOO MUCH WILL ONLY CAUSE PROBLEM !".Yea,I do agree but SO?I can't change my behaviour to think so much.When I realize I am thinking too much,I try to find another point to convince myself,sad to say that there is still another point to beat down the point.Eventually,ended up with no result.How funny is that.

     Well,sometime I do think did I deserve that? or I expect too high on something?I try to observe others.Is it my way of thinking a bit weird if compare with others?Whatever I did,it's pointless because I can't find anything worth to be.I regretted?Perhaps.One of my housemate said,I looked happy and laugh everyday but actually I am a person who are emo easily.Ermmm..I do admit.My EQ always in lower grade.I can't control it as well as my friends do.I don't want to think too much if I got choices.What I want to say is it is one of my behaviour,how am I going to force myself not to think so much?What if I know what I have did,what I have paid off is worthless?Not to say worthless.It's worthy for me but is it has the same value for others?I paid so much of effort SO?I don't mean to change anything and I know I have no ability to change anything around me.If I can change what is from people mouth,I pretty sure I can't change what is inside their heart.
     Whatever it is.My mood is not in negative grade now.Just want to find a way to express what is hiding inside my heart for quite long time.Tomorrow have to go KL to attend my ex-housemates' convocation but I am still online.Insomnia again.I encountered this during my semester break everytime.Used to it?NO WAY!I know,not to tell is not equal to lie.I think I got the point of the reason I am not being told.I should understand,right?